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“Both narcissists and Empaths suffered from early childhood trauma. The Empaths took that pain and became more compassionate, not wanting others to suffer the same fate they did. The narcissists got angry and decided to take their anger out on the world. They vowed to put themselves first. Empaths were strong enough not to let the trauma destroy their goodness, while the narcissists were weak and let the trauma overcome them.” - Maria Consiglio
I've done extensive studies on narcissists, since I've been surrounded by them most of my life, and had to learn to navigate those treacherous waters. I've come to understand, and I wrote a whole chapter on this in my book, that narcissists are so deeply wounded at their core self that they had to create a strong false self to survive in the world that is toxic to others and to themselves.
They don't have the wisdom and depth of compassion empaths have to break free and heal. To bust their mask is to take them straight into their wound which makes them feel you are their enemy even if you are trying to help them heal.
Understand that their ability to endure pain and the courage to take the healing journey is absent with narcs. They are too broken. They are experts at denying pain and projecting it onto you. They would rather defer to comfortable illusions and addictive numbing.
This makes them dangerous to you because if you are awake, you are the walking truth with arrows that will pierce straight through their illusions into the core of their pain. If you do that, prepare to be attacked, vilified, punished, exiled and condemned. It's best to let them be in their illusion until they are ready to come and ask for healing, which is rare, but occasionally does happen.
It's unlikely narcs can heal unless they are the lighter type of narc. Malignant narcs are usually sociopathic and can't be helped, but some narcs are just wounded and confused. Empaths on the other hand feel everything so deeply and are so heart-connected that if they don't do their healing, they will die of the pain in their hearts.
And if you connect with a narc at the heart, they will immediately transfer all their pain to you into your heart. This can be fatal. Please be careful when dealing with narcs but don't hate them. They aren't all bad, some try to be good but are trapped in their painful narcissistic survival behaviors unknowingly. In reality, they are miserable because they are disconnected from God Source and not connecting to love.
You are their light, love and energy source and they can and will drain you if you let them. They will try to control you for that reason. But you can have compassion for them without being their life companion. You will have a greater chance of helping them if you can detach and love them from a distance with unconditional love.
They will seek it if they are ready and even small drops of your love can begin a change in them. But have no expectations in return and don't let them too deeply into your hearts. They most likely are not advanced enough souls to take the healing journey and have surrendered themselves to their shadows. Something will have to jar them awake, which might happen, and then you might see the change. But don't have expectations or hopes or cling on to them. It will be too heart-breaking for you.
Your victory will be when you have forgiven them, released them and still love them unconditionally from afar. You've taken back your power but not lost your beautiful heart energy. Congratulations on a great spiritual victory. Take care of yourselves well with deep self-love empaths. The world is about to need you more than ever as narcs, sleepers, and shadow walkers are about to be held accountable and will seek us. Be sure your protection remains high